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Depressions Darkest Touch - Poem on depression and suicide

James Wood, a resident at Brookdale Care, has been Highly Commended for a powerful poem he wrote on depression and suicide. 

The poem was submitted to Create Art for Autism, a national art competition to celebrate the creativity of young people living with Autism.  For more information on Create Art for Autism visit the website here

James says: 
This poem was written after a serious suicide attempt in which I intended to die.  Whilst in the midst of severe depression and without a diagnosis of Autism, I looked to myself and needed to express the deep darkness inside of me, resulting in this piece.

Depressions Darkest Touch

To be close to madness a scary thought
Whilst consumed with fear you are caught
Into the depths of a depression and deep despair
The life you live becomes a constant scare
Sleepless nights and horrific visions
Swirl throughout all your minds divisions
A deep dark hatred for one-self
Becomes all there is nothing else
No happy times nor days of fun
The depression shoots you as if a gun
And whilst you fight to stay alive
Your sanity dwindles trying to survive
The love your family gives to you
Is not enough to see you through
For this dark pain is all that’s true
Your thoughts are sad, so sad and few
Make it stop you plead and beg
But there is no solace within your head
At last you turn to the final goodbye
I am at peace now, do not cry
For whilst you struggle to understand
I will sleep forever in another land
Goodbye to the ones I love and I pass to you
That I was not strong enough to live through.
A few words from James Wood
"I wrote that poem over two years ago and in total suffered through twenty six months of mental health nightmares with local mental health services being more detrimental than helpful.

My life was destroyed, as was my families and friends, the Masters degree I had achieved felt as if it was useless and that my future was nothing more than a dark abyss that would lead me to suicide.

I attempted suicide multiple times and self harmed a lot, cutting, over dosing, burning, it was extreme.
However, when I came to Milton Park Campus it changed my life, quite literally it changed how I felt about myself, the world, my autism, my mental health and so many more attributes.
I originally was in the mental health part of Milton Park for six weeks then moved over to Pathway House.  Ever since I have been at Milton Park I have not self harmed, nor thought about hurting myself at all.  
My life has flipped itself entirely and that is due to a mixture of my continuous hard work from myself and the support that Milton Park offers.
To the future I look to publish my book, that will be based on the journey I have gone through and hopefully being going to Cambridge University to study a Masters of Philosophy in Social and Developmental Psychology so that I can become a Psychologist specialising in autism with adults to help change the current lack luster services that are offered across the country.
I want to thank Brookdale and Milton Park for giving me my life back and realising my true potential without it I would still be falling into that dark abyss."

If you would like to speak to someone regarding this poem or Brookdale Care please contact us on 01707 387868 or